My Relationship with Chastity

Ever since my first sexual encounter, I’ve been practicing tease and denial. I’d slip off into my best friend’s brother’s bedroom and we’d mess around at a ridiculously young age. He four years older than I was an just as inexperienced, which made everything pretty exciting for me. I remember how much fun it was having access to his body, getting to touch and lick and kiss. We kept at this for weeks, each week building up what we were doing. We started with kissing and then moved onto oral sex and then one night we were talking about having sex. I wasn’t ready, but he didn’t need to know that. Instead, we played a fun game of edging for the entire night until we fell asleep. Shortly after that experience, my family moved.

I’d fooled around enough to have some idea of what I was doing when I met my next serious boyfriend. Our relationship led right into sex and I found out rather quickly that my favorite position was on top. I could scratch my fingernails down his chest, pin his arms above his head while I rode him, but most importantly, it afforded me the ability to pour (the wrong kind of) candle wax on his chest while I took my orgasm. CFNM, tease and denial, forced masturbation, light pain, body worship, all of these things were things that were absolutely normal to me and I couldn’t have imagined sex any other way.

Years after we got together and a couple of years after I was married, I came across an erotic story that I’d read about a woman who wanted to keep her husband in chastity. The thought of it was incredibly appealing to me. I didn’t much care that my husband masturbated; I knew that he did and sometimes I’d ask about it because it turned me on. Sometimes he was even thinking about me, which I thought was sweet. I did like that I would get to control when we would have sex instead of being expected to put out whenever he wanted it. Mostly though, I just liked the idea of chastity. It was taking tease and denial to a whole new level. At that time, I didn’t even realize the level of frustration (or pain) that could come from wearing a device. Putting him in chastity made me want to play with him more, touch him more, tease him more, taste him more, and so naturally, like everything else I’d ever suggested to him, I brought it up. Without even hearing why I liked the idea of chastity so much, he not only declined to try, but told me that there would never be a man out there that would let me lock him up.

Our marriage was pretty open from the start. There were a few of my kinks that my husband didn’t care to participate in, namely anything having to do with control. He made allowances so that I could have a pet on the side that I could do all of my tease and denial and controlling and pet play with. Typically they were just internet things so they weren’t very obtrusive and they allowed me a lot of room for creativity. I had one sweet pet named Lin that would do puppy/kitty play with me on cam, that was often the victim of my tease and denial, and that would allow me the game of mental chastity, where he was never allowed to orgasm without my permission. Most of the time it was also required that I got to watch him on cam. I’ll never forget the way that he would squirm and bite his lip right before he would beg so sweetly, “Mistress, may I cum?”. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. All the time if he came he had to clean it up. I was fortunate enough to get to meet him in real life for a weekend and if I knew then what I know now, we could have had a lot more fun.

My next relationship was local but all of these elements remained the same. There was no impact play, there was only a matter of controlling him, tease and denial, and chastity. There was no device used here either, because I enjoyed getting to use his body. It wasn’t that I was ever using his cock, but I liked rubbing against it. More so, I really enjoyed having him on top and jerking him off against my clit so that when he begged and I granted him release, he would squirt right against my clit and then I would come as well. Not quite simultaneous orgasms but good enough for me. This one was precious to me because I was able to discover that I enjoyed oral sex a whole lot and he was always happy to give it. We’d get up in the mornings and he’d service me. He’d shower and I’d watch tv while he made breakfast and then he’d service me again. If I got horny in the middle of the day, I’d pull his face between my legs and get off again. And it was almost mandatory that I would receive oral before I fell asleep at night. Sometimes I’d push him down between my legs, cover his head with the covers, and hope he could get me off before it got too hot for him. Other times, I’d let him have an orgasm, but only if he could jerk himself off while giving me oral and cum by the time I did.

Finally, after those relationships ended and I was back to just play partners, I met someone who had a device. I didn’t get to do much more with it than see it, see how it worked, hear about it, lock it on him for a day or two, before the play was over. It wasn’t going to work out long term anyhow. The device was a hindrance to him because he was a cross dresser, a beautiful one at that, and the device gave him away. I didn’t want that. I thought he was hot when he was ‘en femme’ and I wanted other people to think so as well. I wanted to take him out and have this beautiful girl on my arm and have no one think anything of it. It never really developed into anything other than a hunger to play with a real device.

Then I met him. When he told me that one of his main fetishes was chastity, I couldn’t figure out why. After all, all I ever heard from guys was complaints that they weren’t allowed to masturbate or they weren’t allowed to cum or the devices made them look weird or this or that or anything else. He liked the control of it, the ownership of it. Or at least he thought he did. The first night we met, I got his key. He did quite a few days in the device and magically, this world that I had always dreamed of opened up to me. On top of the chastity though, we were engaged in some serious mind fuck. No touching. No seeing. It was my cock, not his. I would do with it what I wanted. I would ignore it if I wanted to. He may never receive another blow job. He may never feel another hand touch my cock ever again. Best of all, he may never experience intercourse ever again because he gave me his cock and now that it was mine, I may never want it inside of anyone ever again.

All the while all I could think about was how much I wanted to unlock him after a week or two of chastity. I wanted to tie his hands behind the chair, make it so he couldn’t touch himself at all, kiss down his neck and chest and slide between his legs and slowly, carefully, unlock his device. I wanted to carefully remove those plastic pieces from around my cock. I wanted to take him in my hands and feel the blood flow deep into my cock, watch as it finally, after weeks of denial, got to grow to its full size. I wanted to see the way his eyes would roll back in his head as my fingers played up and down the shaft. I wanted to hear the groans and the whimpers when my tongue flicked the head. I wanted to see how fast and hard he would cum when I granted him an orgasm. I wanted him to know that his pleasure was because of me. Because I allowed him the pleasure. Because that cock sure was not his and without me, he wouldn’t know what it was to cum ever again.

Really, what is there to dislike about chastity? Especially from the Keyholder’s point of view.

Search Terms

This has to be one of my favorite things about WordPress: search terms. A lot of people that turn up at my journal are using some very fun search terms. Some of the time I feel bad because I doubt I have posts that match what they’re looking for. Sometimes, I just haven’t put that kind of material into a journal post before. I thought maybe I would do a quick post about the things that people are looking for and whether or not they can be found here in my blog.

feminized while tied up – No, I wish. I did have a fantastic fantasy about doing something like this with dil. For each of my pets, I’ve chosen a color that I think goes with them rather well. For him, it was purple. For the last while that we were together, I was rubbing out orgasm after orgasm while thinking about him appearing as a female, bound in purple rope, and gagged. I threw him over the arm of my couch, strapped one on, and went to town on his ass. Unfortunately this fantasy never came to fruition. Someday I plan to enact this with someone though.

fetlife gender queer  - I am on Fetlife, under this name. I am not listed as Gender Queer because I don’t know that I identify strongly enough with that to make that kind of proclamation on a site where there are genuinely gender queer folk that I look up to and respect. Gender Queer is definitely a term I use in describing myself in my blog though, because of the confusion that I’ve had expressing both my feminine and masculine sides.

mummification orgasm – Why would I give them an orgasm? Mummification is great fun though. I have done a few in the recent past. Try clicking the words ‘saran wrap’ or ‘mummification’ in my tag cloud to the immediate right.

“my husband” “i own his cock” chastity – My husband is the one person that I never played with! I did own a cock once upon a time — it belonged to Devin. I did chastity for a while with him as well, and have done chastity with every pet I’ve had, although Devin was the only one I got to put in an actual device. Check back soon for a few tales about Sergie and some long distance chastity, complete with a device!

despite the intense stimulation he knew he would not be permitted to cum – He sure hoped though.

lingerie store humiliation – I did take Joey to a sex shop on our first date (yes, I am that kind of woman). We bought some stockings but I let him come to my house to try them on. On a subsequent visit, I had him take a few skirts into the changing room and try them on. Was he humiliated? Pretty sure he was! These are things that I find pretty ordinary though, so I didn’t think much of it until I saw how red in the face he was when I had to ask a store clerk to open the door for him.

“second+life”+feminization – This one’s fun because I did play in Second Life for quite some time. It’s actually where I met my first pet Lin and my pup Kayn. Lin was feminized to some degree and now, in retrospect, I’m pretty sure we engaged in some little play as well. To me it didn’t seem much like feminization at the time because he was simply so feminine. I think of feminization more like when I take a very masculine person and have them go through the motions of being a woman. That kind of thing with Lin was simply natural. There probably aren’t a lot of stories about that in this blog, but feminization was a very big part of the kinds of relationships I sought and that’s only recently changed.

keeping my boy under chastity – Chastity may very well be my biggest fetish right now. A lot of my fantasies revolve around it. I plan out quite a few scenes that have chastity playing an integral part in it. I got to play around with it for a while and now I’m hooked like crack. I do hope that it can someday be a part of my relationships again but for right now, I’m told I should just let things run their course and see where they take me. (Besides, there’s always Sergie who’s dumb sweet enough to play with me, even long distance!)

Akalashi - This is probably the term that brings the most people to my blog. I like to think that if you know my name, you have some idea of who I am and you’re just trying to stalk me. That’s cool. I like stalkers. But if you’re curious about who I am, want more information, or just want to drop me a line, you can find me on Fetlife or you can just use my email address, listed in my About Me page. Or just leave a comment, let me know that you’re stalking me. That’s awesome too.

As an aside, November is National Novel Writing Month. I’m hoping to participate this year (and succeed!) and so some posts may be slow throughout the month. If anyone reading is also participating, feel free to leave a comment and we can cheer each other on. Go NaNo!

An Experiment In Chastity Finale

July 23, 8:03am: Good morning Master! I know that I’m sounding like a broken record but last night was the worst. Your cock had me up in the one o’clock hour, the two o’clock hour, the three o’clock hour, the four o’clock hour, and the five o’clock hour. The lack of sleep is becoming critical. I can’t sleep because of your cock. I can’t function because of the lack of sleep your cock is causing. I now have a medical need. Skin has broken on the scrotum and there are traces of blood.

That is what can break him out of chastity before an agreed upon date. We made arrangements to meet so that I could unlock the device. The meeting was important for multiple reasons though, most of them emotional.

Last night we had a talk about how far the chastity and the mind fuck were going. I wanted to ensure that he was aware that I wasn’t willing to push as far as I wanted to go unless he knew precisely what he had negotiated and he was upset that I might be backing off from exactly what I wanted. Today’s meet helped alleviate a lot of the worry that I think we both had. The lesson had been learned in that he needs to ensure he knows what he’s negotiating — but a lesson had to be learned on my end too. I needed to learn that he isn’t just in this for the fantasy. He’s not doing this just to get off and then to return to his ‘normal’ life. What he agrees to, what he gives his word to, is what he is going to do. To him, if he was stupid about negotiations, well then he’s stupid, and he has to live with that.

So for now the agreement stands. All of the things that I had been talking about before, the keeping him locked up for longer periods of time, denying him orgasms (though milking would have to occur, health is important), and even the possibility of not having an intimate relationship with me (outside of the emotional relationship that occurs through the process of chastity) are all still on the table. There will not be any renegotiation. This was an ideal situation for me, personally. The issue that I was having was that I felt as though I had tricked him into all of this by not confronting and questioning him about it the night we laid the ground rules.

There was one detail that we made sure to cover once more and that was that he was afraid that he might be made nonfunctional, meaning that the chastity would take over his life so much that he wouldn’t be able to work or attend to personal obligations elsewhere in his life. While that is definitely not my goal or intent, I do think that for the first while of chastity he will have difficulty sleeping, he will have difficulty focusing, and that it might affect some of his work. The redemption though is that when he has a particular task to work on, he can focus on that. I’m less concerned when he says things like that. I’m certain there will be a curve where eventually he will stop struggling with having focus and at some point he will just give in and then the focus and energy will come from being in chastity. I suppose only time will tell.

For right now, the thing that we both need to work on is communication. He does a wonderful job of giving me his reports but sometimes he’s not entirely clear on what he’s feeling. For me, I need to ensure that I’m willing to back up everything that I say and convey that as well. I did the opposite of that last night and while it was with purpose, I think it created more turmoil than was necessary. Still, better to have it happen last night than on Monday night.

Now he will be out of his device for the next while, in order to heal, and because that was how it was to be scheduled. There will be a small break for reasons completely out of my control. He asked me Wednesday night if I was afraid he wouldn’t come back. I told him no. That was not a fear of mine. While I stand by that, while I’m not afraid that he won’t return to me, I do fear that something might be different. I may have to go back, rework some of the foundation that we’ve laid down, and build up again. That’s fine. As long as he returns, that sort of thing can always happen.

I’ve said in the title that this was the finale of the experiment in that the device is off. He still isn’t allowed to orgasm until Monday night though, if I allow it then. I can stretch it out all the way until…well, for quite some time after that. Perhaps I will decide on a whim. Maybe I’ll tie it into a game. Maybe I’ll indulge him. A man does only have a birthday once a year after all. We’ll find out Monday I suppose!

An Experiment In Chastity

July 19, 5:30am: Good morning Akalashi. It was a very good thing I did not have the key. Last night I was cursing myself for leaving the key at work. Let’s just say you were constantly on my mind. At one point I thought the device was going to break! The torment was almost too much to take.

It’s a little embarrassing, quite humiliating but also a turn-on that someone could sneak a peek, so to speak, and maybe figure out that it’s not my cock bulging from my pants but a chastity device.

I am wiped out and tired! That blasted device has had me awake more than I thought. But it always has me thinking of you.

July 20, 5:30am*: Good morning! What a glorious day! Sleep has once again eluded me. You will be most pleased to hear that my inability to find release last night caused me such physical and mental pain and torture that I was almost reduced to tears. My pillow was once again a victim of attempted rape.

Last night was the most intense yet! You are at the forefront of my mind. I am not exaggerating when I say rape and crying. These are accurate adjectives to describe my night.

Remember, this is coming from a man that used to masturbate every day.

You have me in a perpetual frenzied state at the moment. I can’t think, breathe, or move without physical arousal happening. Which always brings me back to the fact that you possess the key.

I did not anticipate how much of me you would own by your possession of the key, now your key. Because not only do you own my cock, my orgasm, my pleasure, you own my sleep and thoughts as well. I cannot sleep because of your cock. My every thought turns to you because of your cock.

I may never come again. That is something I never even contemplated!

July 21, 5:30am: Good morning Master**! I am now even more sleep deprived than I was yesterday. I was able to manage a couple of hours. The pain in the scrotum has now become such that I cannot even think about touching. The testicles are swollen. They have turned purple and cold. Each night the torture becomes worse than the night before. I am coming to a point that sleep is something I have to avoid. If I can avoid the sleep maybe I can avoid the pain and torture. This is much more extreme than I have ever imagined. Please tell me what I must do that you will allow me some relief from this device. I am desperate!

You are now my obsession. My physical body yearns for you, my every thought is of you, my only desire is to please you.

You reaching down between my legs and feeling nothing but the hard plastic device that caged your cock was a very humiliating turn-on.

I can’t sit, I can’t stand, I can’t think, I can’t sleep! But then I think about the pleasure my pain, anguish, and torture gives and it makes it worse! Because knowing the more pain, anguish, and torture I endure the more pleasure you receive.

My greatest fear is that you’ll keep me in chastity indefinitely. What would be so bad about that? To be free from the flesh between my legs. Didn’t that already happen when I gave you the key? I relinquished all rights of it to you. So why can’t I wash my hands of it and walk away?

Oh my god! I am never going to have intercourse again, am I? I hadn’t considered that possibility either!

How is it that I’ve gone from having intercourse multiple times a day to never having intercourse again?!

Absolutely every single feeling is pumping through me right now knowing that I might not ever have sex again. I may not even be allowed to masturbate much less cum. Hell, this damned device may never be coming off! I am feeling angry, mad, betrayed, hurt, sad, defeated, stupid, humiliated, aroused. What I imagined and what I negotiated are two very different things. That is my own fault! All of these feelings are directed at myself. It was my decision to move forward. I am also very scared. Scared of how sadistic you can and want to be. What else might you take from me and use against me?

I am being reduced to a membered eunuch.

July 22, 5:30am***: The pain from raw skin is beyond anything I have experienced! Sleep is something I now know I will never have again. One more thing to put on the list! Each day it seems there is something else you have taken from me. I am yours!

Last night was once again intense. Not sure how I cam going to make it through the day without sleep! I hurt and am too sore to continue a relationship of that nature with my pillow. Simply sitting is now a chore. I am now wondering if I will be able to continue like this. I am hoping that soon I will just become numb to it. I really do need out! But I know there is nothing that I can do or say that will make that happen. I am at a point where the actual physical pin is so great that I want out not to get off but to relieve the pain.

Right now I don’t even want to touch your cock! It is that sore! I apologize for not taking proper care of your cock. I just did not know how to.**** I would like to try to continue on to Monday.

Once you have your cock locked to the cage, not just in it, I will truly become your slave. Never to know an orgasm or freedom again. Am I correct? Your own personal torture toy. {In response to my informing him that since I own his cock, I could pierce it if I’d like.}

I’m tired. Falling asleep at my desk. I can’t think straight. I can barely work. I’m confused and scared. What have I done? How did I get here? I agreed to chastity. Having my cock controlled. But so much more has been taken. You have pointed out how stupid I am. I was thinking with my dick.

I am scared because you have used my sex to abduct me and I never saw it coming. I just happily handed it over to you.

* This is the first report after being given the key to his chastity device

** Dev was seeking an appropriate honorific to use to address me, as we are not in a D/s relationship, we are only Keyholder/victim at the moment. I commented that I was amused the key reads ‘Master’ on it and at first he rejected the idea of using such a term, because Master implies so much to me (and to him as well) but after much consideration, there is a distinct flavor of ownership to at least this one part of his body, enough that we agreed this would work. He also pointed out how nice it would be to have my name right on my key.

*** This was the first day that he was required to start sending pictures along with his morning report to help ensure that I can see what’s going on in order to make better, more informed decisions about whether or not continuing with wearing the device is in the best interest of his health.

**** Dev discovers lube is his friend and it helps to keep the cage from chaffing the skin.

Chastity. This is something that I’ve always wanted to try but I never had a boy that owned a device who wanted to play with me. I met someone on CollarMe that had some of the same interests as me. My initial draw to him was the fact that he spoke of submission and learning, not of fetishes and kinks. There were a few things that held me back from contacting him at first, but eventually I sent a letter. The person that I got to know was much more than I had expected from his profile, and he said the same about me. Of course that may be due to the fact that I have a rather generic profile.

One of the topics that kept coming up between us was his desire to be owned and to experience a full D/s relationship. Anyone reading this journal knows full well that I am trying to avoid that kind of situation because there were a few other things that I’ve been wanting to experience, and this was one of them. Dev had mentioned that he wanted to try wearing his device. He’d only ever gone for 48 hours wearing one before and never any longer. He masturbated daily. His last kinky relationship pretty much had him being used as a sex toy, made to perform for his Mistress several times a day. To hear the stories from him personally, one would think he was kept on site for a porn shoot, never knowing when he was going to be pulled out to be fucked again and again. But it didn’t have all of the D/s elements he was looking for.

With some encouragement (what?) he decided late Saturday night to put the device on of his own accord. He let me know that he had and I told him that I was rooting for him. Throughout the weekend he gave me updates and told me how difficult it was for him to do this and how much easier it would be if he had a Keyholder. Sunday he told me that he was afraid he would just unlock himself and be done. I told him that if he was especially clever, he would take the key to work and leave it at his desk to avoid that temptation. He took my suggestion and did just that.

That evening, through reasons completely unrelated to his stint in chastity, we had agreed to meet. I enjoy meeting local people who have similar views to my own. I was hoping too that if we met, I might be able to encourage him to join one of the local communities, perhaps even attend a play party with him. He had mentioned that he may bring his key with and if things worked out exceptionally well, perhaps we could negotiate me being his Keyholder, and talked at length what that would mean to each of us.

The evening was spent going over hypothetical situations, expectations, hopes and desires of both kink and vanilla. Towards the end of the night, after negotiating, he offered me his key and I accepted. The negotiations that he offered lacked two things: an ending period and any kind of limit regarding release from device, orgasm, or intercourse. I was perfectly aware that he’d forgotten about these, but I figured rather than just merely mentioning them, I would show him what happens when he forgets to negotiate to the very last detail in hopes that he would never make the mistake again. (I think he’s learned his lesson.) The only other thing that he didn’t allow himself, which I strongly encourage in every other situation, is a safe word. His lack of a safe word means more responsibility for me, ensuring that I don’t push him further than I think he can go, because I’m the only person now that can stop where we’re headed.

His expected date of release is Monday, July 25th. I’m hoping to make this birthday one he remembers for a while at least.

I Can’t Promise You The World

This past week at work was a mess. One of my bosses decided to schedule me for a shift that I couldn’t possibly work without some outside help. Since the car accident, kitty’s been left without a car, so he uses mine to get to work. He works late; I work early. This works out! Thursday and Friday of last week, I had to work late. This didn’t work out! I had to arrange to get someone to drive 80 miles in one day to pick me up, take me to work, drop me off home, and then go back to where they lived, right next to work. I was not pleased. I don’t know why this person even agreed to help me out! But she did, and it was sweet of her. I bought her dinner and gave her gas money. She had to repeat the morning trip on Friday but Friday night I had covered.

Joey probably had no idea what he was getting himself into when I messaged him and asked if he’d be willing to pick me up from work, instead of meeting me at my house like usual. I explained that I worked a little ways out, but if he would do this for me, it would increase his rank in the Teh Bestest Pet Ever competition he didn’t previously know he was competing in. At first I think he was tentative. I guessed this because he asked me just how far out I worked. “Just follow the freeway you usually take to get to my house to the end.” To the end of what, I could hear him asking? “To the end of the freeway.” Joey is very, very expressive. Not always through words though. Usually just his deep, brown eyes. Via text, it comes out like this: O.O

“Best pet ever?” was what he asked in return and I knew he was hooked. It might have also had something to do with the fact that I mentioned pets that could offer service as well as their backside always got me revved up, and I wasn’t entirely lying about that either. Oh, and if he picked me up, we’d have to go get this flogger I was looking at. C’mon now, it was pay day.

Friday night, he came to hang out with me at work for a while. He drove me to the store to buy the new flogger that we’d played with together the time before last when we went to buy new lube for him. This is a beautiful flogger that I almost missed in the dark of the dungeon. I’d found a whip, one without a handle, that was designed to look like barbed wire. This pushed all the right buttons for me because when I was a little younger, I used to have fantasies of tying up boys in rough rope and barbed wire, but I just couldn’t find a good way to get barbed wire into the place without breaking SSC. Now that they’d made a leather alternate, I was hooked. I lashed him with this and the way he jumped and swore had me sold. Oh, but there was no handle. However was I going to work this? Just then, peering down into the darkness, on the next shelf, which was home to floggers, I found it: a suede flogger with falls of leather barbed wire in them. I snatched that baby up and Joey barely had time to turn around to offer his back to me before it fell upon him. The same reaction! Glorious!

Well now that it was pay day, I had to have it. And have it I would!

After that, we made our way back to my house. I knew I wanted to use that on him. I also knew that I couldn’t use just that on him or we wouldn’t each have a wonderful time. Tonight we’d do a proper warm-up.

Usually when he comes over, I give him time to get in the door. I don’t kiss him right off, because it’s too much like a relationship he’s said (although I’m beginning to think he can see how this all fits together) so instead I just let him join me in the living room and we talk for a bit. The dog (the real dog) is always super excited to see him and I think it’s best that he gets some attention first, if we want him to leave us alone at all while we’re playing.

Then comes the magic moment, when the dog winds down a bit, and Joey looks at me, waiting to see what I want to do. “Strip!”. It’s said with some enthusiasm, usually. Sometimes deadpan, but with a smile. It’s so entertaining to me because he is still so shy. He watches me when he can, but otherwise looks around to everything else in the living room while he casually pulls off his shirt and lowers his pants. It’s always the hesitation at the waistband of his underwear that makes me smile. I reassure him that I’ve seen him naked before and he laughs nervously. It doesn’t make it any easier this time around.

Tonight was different though. For one, he was standing on the other side of the room. I’d ignored him up until then, trying to get some music started so the neighbors didn’t hear the sounds of floggers. When he looked at me, I went straight for him. A kiss. There was no collar around his neck yet — it wasn’t part of the scene — but it appeared to be okay. I kissed him and helped him undress. It was as smooth as I can be, which really means it wasn’t smooth at all. I’m used to him taking his socks and shoes off when he gets in the door, tucking them under the coffee table where his furry bff can’t thieve his socks away for a vacation while we’re playing. I got all of his clothes off his body, had my fingers curling around his hard cock, and then realized my mistake. Oh well. He wasn’t shy undressing that time, and that was all that mattered.

In a matter of seconds he’d finished the job that I’d started and climbed onto the couch, kneeling away from me. I started with the old flogger, Old Trusty. I can swing and fling and flap and hit and thwap with that all night long. I can really get into it too. Usually I’m pretty good with it but he’d tell you there’s been one or two strikes to the side, completely unintentional. I wasn’t quite lined up right when I let go — premature flogging, due to excitement. Each time that I bring it out, I try to hit him harder and harder. He admitted once that part of him really wants me to hit him as hard as I can and the sane part of him is glad that I don’t. We’ll get there. I know this because I can see how far we’ve gone in such a short amount of time.

Caning is another favorite and while I usually tend to keep like toys together, which would have meant the new flogger would have come second, I didn’t think he was ready to go from thuddy to super stingy. I have a very thick cane that’s very thuddy and bamboo canes that are very stingy. I’m positive that they both got used. I’m positive that he did not get such a warm up for the bamboo canes. I can attest to this because there was more time spent sitting upright, breathing, then hunched over with his ass pushed out ready to accept another strike. So little effort; so much pain. I love these canes.

After that came the paddle. My paddle is beautiful. Thick, wooden, covered in sandpaper. It was frightening enough that pup, the construction worker, felt the need to point out the quality of the sandpaper and assure me that that was the real deal, this wasn’t fine grain to help save skin. Thanks pup! To anyone less experienced with sandpaper, it just hurts. I made sure that it hurt Friday night too.

Once I was done with the paddle, there was a crop. The crop is lovely because it makes the best smacking sounds ever when it connects with an ass. Especially a lovely ass that’s made to accommodate the size of the heart at the end. He’d jump when I hit him hard. He’d jump when he thought I was going to hit him hard. Friday night was all about pushing him and making him hurt. He’d mentioned that he thought I might make him bleed that night. I told him I hoped I would.

One major difference in the way we played Friday night was that I paid some special attention to his nipples, primarily by thwacking them with the bamboo cane and ensuring that they were rubbed by sandpaper. I remember him specifically pointing out later on that his nipples hurt while the rest of his body was mostly just a dull ache.

Finally we got to it: the new flogger. I tried to go light, I really did. It’s much heavier than Old Trusty though. I wasn’t quite used to the feel of it. I tried to swing it around behind him before I made contact but I was aroused. The first fall hurt him more than I was expecting but he put on his brave face for me. We have this agreement going that the less he says ‘fuck’ in normal circumstances, the happier I am. When I’m beating him, he can say ‘fuck’ all he wants and I don’t care. I think it’s hot, actually. Well, when this flogger came out to play, that was all I heard. Thwack, fuck, thwack, fuck. Amazing.

Afraid that he might not be able to handle it, I crawled up on the couch behind him, I pressed the handle of the flogger against his collared neck and pulled him back against my body. I told him ‘This is your one chance to get out of this if you want. You can ask me to stop right now, and I’ll put the flogger away.’ He swallowed, breathed for a second, and asked, ‘What do you want?’. I was thrilled. I was so turned on. ‘I want you to take more for me.’ So he nodded, I let him go, and I hit him more. To ensure that we didn’t go too far though, I made him answer in numbers. One a scale from one to five, one being my light strikes with Old Trusty and 5 being oh god, stop please, he was to let me know where he was at all times. I got a three, a four, and a lot of fucks. Never a five. We didn’t go for much longer though — I was too turned on.

I put the toys to rest. I had him climb down off the couch and kneel in front of me. I pet him for a moment, but then I remembered that my favorite toy was out to play. Reaching down, I began to stroke his cock. He knelt nicely, letting me play. He let me know when he was getting close. He’s never allowed to orgasm without permission. One of my favorite things about him is how sensitive the head of his cock is. Just touching it is an amazing experience for me. So I dragged my fingers over it, masturbating just that part of him, and watched with delight when he actually pulled his entire self away from me to get a moment’s reprise. When he was getting too close, we stopped.

Here’s where things go a little soft, a little vanilla. Picture some kissing, some rubbing, and a boy wearing a collar for me working to get me off in a new and exciting way for him that would probably elicit some yawns from the rest of us. Not that it mattered to me — I orgasmed.

After that, I pushed him back, had him sit at the corner of the couch, and told him to jerk off. In a matter of minutes he was riding the edge, fighting between doing what I told him to now (masturbate) and doing what I told him to always (don’t come until I tell him to). This is always an exciting game for me. He asked. He begged. I gave in way too easily, but he’d done me proud with all the pain he took. He came and I told him I loved the smell of it — like fresh rain.

After that, I took the boy out to eat so he wouldn’t starve to death. Waffles at midnight are a godsend. He made a bet, as we were both yawning, the he couldn’t stay up until 4am. What? Why would either of us agree to that? Because he shook my hand for so long that we were holding hands over the table in the middle of IHOP while not in a “relationship”, that’s why. I knew as soon as he got home and had constant stimulation he’d be able to make it. The wager? $10.

Needless to say, I lost the bet. Tonight I pay up. I have my own creative way of feeling better for losing though, which ties into service, which ties into “I Can’t Promise You the  World”. Tune in later!

Wrapping Things Up

 

After our last talk about wanting to include higher protocols and how to proceed with these dreams of ours, I felt a very subtle shift occur. It didn’t happen instantaneously but rather throughout the week. We were unable to get together much because he was on call and during those weeks it’s rare that we can actually go out and do anything without imposing on anyone else, so we kept in touch via instant messenger, our first form of communication besides the emails we were exchanging when we were still just two people using CollarMe in attempt to make a connection.

Thursday night his tone was coming across much better, as much as can be told via an instant messenger. Luckily he usually comes across true to himself there. Perhaps a little more adorable and a touch more silly, but all in all it’s the same things I’d expect for him to say if he were right in front of me. Yes Miss and No Miss and May I please Miss peppered the conversation just as they should have been weeks before. Somewhere along the lines they got lost and because I was afraid of putting more stress on my boy, I let them slide. We’ve both realized our mistakes in that.

My biggest fear is that I’ll ask too much of him, he’ll balk, and he’ll run away. This is very reminiscent of my prior relationship, the one with all the D/s overtones in it. I knew in the back of my mind that coddling him was not the answer, but I didn’t want to become a problem. So many times I’ve heard about how a submissive man wants their Domme to be ‘that woman’, the sort of woman that other men wonder why they’re with them, or why they love them, because they seem to be overbearing and controlling. However, in this case, he dated that woman for many years prior to meeting me. He’d already been through that and since he’s now with me, I’m sure it’s easy to see that it didn’t last.

Of course I’m intelligent enough to realize that it was not the same. He didn’t feel loved. He didn’t feel desired. Maybe he didn’t feel as though his efforts were being recognized. Some of this is speculation and a lot of this really doesn’t have much of an effect on the relationship at this point. In the beginning moreso, but now it’s ancient history in my world. I think less and less of the pasts we had without one another and more and more of the future we’re creating together. I know that I’m not the same and at the very base of our relationship is a mutual affection, mutual trust, and mutual respect. We built on top of that, and we communicate regularly. I’m certain that if any of those things change, we’ll let the other know.

So I knew I had to get over that and no one but me could do it. I’ve been working on it. I’d been trying, then stopped trying for a little bit, and then I missed the training. I missed feeling free to ask him to do whatever and expecting to actually have it done. I was tired of allowing things that wouldn’t have slid by if I’d actually enforced my own rules. This was my own mistake. It wasn’t as though he was completely out of line either. It’s not as though every rule we ever made was broken time and time again and I just allowed it. It was just the more subtle parts of our relationship that really fuel the whole thing. Saying ‘Miss’ all the time. Making sure that I eat before he does. Anticipating what I need. Attending to me first, him second. Those sorts of things.

By Friday when he came to my doorstep, I was actually holding my breath. I was wondering if we could actually pull it all together in just a matter of days or if we were going to end up with another night similar to Monday, which is a night I’d rather not ever relive, for various reasons. When I opened the door and saw him smiling, I figured we were in for a good weekend, and I wasn’t disappointed.

Dinner came first. A new rule was being tested. I’ve always wanted to have more control of him, but I want it in limited doses first. The first step in this direction was making sure that he never ate before anyone else, with the exception being if he got a salad and no one else at the table was going to have one. In that case, it was best just to lean over and ask me very quietly if it was alright that he ate. Something else that I’ve wanted to do was to choose his food for him. However, he has particular likes and dislikes and while I know them, I don’t trust myself to always remember them. I don’t mind making him eat something he doesn’t like every now and again, but if we’re going to go out for dinner, I’d rather him actually eat than not. To sort of transition myself, he’s now made to choose three meals he’d enjoy eating and I pick which of the three he’ll have. Sometimes for amusement I feed him from my plate, which typically has plenty of things he doesn’t like on it. There’s something about the way he looks at me, as if to ask if he really has to before he takes a bite that gets me. I love it.

After that it was to Target! I needed some household things. Saran Wrap and duct tape to be exact. I pranced through the store saying those two things over and over, watching him blush. We found some fascinating containers that I think are supposed to go under the bed that looked to be about his size, so I pulled one off the shelf and waited for him to climb in. He got really shy for a moment and then stepped into it, only to find that it wasn’t going to be deep enough. Oh well. We already know he’ll have a cage someday. We just figure we ought to get one for the animal that really needs one first, then for the boy that only dreams of them.

We also picked up pillowcases, just for fun.

When we got home, I decided that I wanted to try this mummification idea that I’d had for a while. It was mostly for play, not really for anything hot or wonderful. I had him strip down and stand in front of me while I saran wrapped his entire body, except his cock, so that I could play with it. From his neck down to his ankles, with his leather restraints on and blue (teal?) duct tape holding it all in place. I let him stand next to the couch. He made a fine sculpture. I especially liked when he got very warm and I could see the slick skin beneath the taut wrap. Additionally, watching his cock leak was very appealing.

After a while of that, I cut a little hole on each side of him and told him that if he could get it off, he could be done. So I watched him squirm and struggle and plead with me playfully to help. I didn’t for a while, but eventually made a few more cuts (including the slightest graze against his leg, which I laughed about a little later on). All in all he did really well and he seemed to enjoy himself.

That night we spent some time in bed, both talking and playing. The bedroom stuff is always fun because while it’s not all that kinky or BDSM’y, I do get to use him for whatever purpose I want. Typically I have him go down on me and I thoroughly enjoy that. Sometimes he’s on top so I can feel him rub against me. We very rarely have sex, which is just the way I like it. Tonight I wanted something a little different for my second, third, whatever number orgasm it was and told him to put on his pink and black skirt. I don’t know what it is about this particular skirt of his, but it gets my blood flowing. It’s so very tight that I can see his cock outlined in the front of it. It’s also very sweet looking though, and is made to be worn with stockings which we will eventually get for him.

Once he climbed back into bed with me, I beckoned him on top of me. Like the sweet little girl he can be though, he positioned himself over one of my legs so he could rub himself against me, or so that I couldn’t feel his cock. He sprinkled very light kisses on my neck and was just so feminine that I couldn’t help myself and stroked up his thigh and over his ass and pulled him onto me so I could rub myself silly.

Saturday morning was a fine morning to sleep in. When we eventually got up, we went to get a very nice lunch and then we watched some television together before he had to go to work, leaving me home to watch my shows and play World of Warcraft by myself. He crawled into bed with me somewhere in the early hours of the morning and we slept right through until lunchtime Sunday.

Finally, it was off to see a puppy agility class! The three of us have decided to get a puppy! Or rather, I decided, j didn’t have a choice, and the two of us convinced my husband that this was a good idea. My husband will never let on that he thinks the puppy is adorable and is surely as excited as we are about his arrival. Surely.

Sunday night brought another burst of quick fun before I headed home for another week of work. We were watching baseball and because we had the absolute worst commentators ever, I decided to spice things up a bit. I opened up the pillowcases we bought, put one over his head, and then used his collar to fasten it on. Then I draped him over ‘the cube’ (which is a footstool) and swatted his ass quite happily with a paddle. For quite some time. With quite a bit of force. We’re finally getting closer and closer to where I want to be in terms of hurting him. We do less warm-ups now, which is something I really like, and I can hit him harder without worrying about breaking him. By the time his ass was nice and red, the game was almost over, so I had him flip over and play with himself for a bit. We removed his ‘hood’ and then he played for a little bit longer and asked me ever so sweetly if we might put a lock on his collar someday.

Someday.

Someday I intend to put some form of permanent collar around his neck and then he won’t have to worry about simple padlocks.

Once home, I smiled a bit as I saw a ton of our furniture stacked up in front of the front door. My husband and I are wrapping up this chapter in our lives, getting out of our house, and moving somewhere that’s more afforadable and in a nicer neighborhood. We’re growing up a bit you see. Instead of taking the traditional route, we’ve opted for slaves and pets and little furchildren. I can’t wait to see what comes next.

 

 

All Wrapped Up

 

 

 

Dripping Cum

Naked

One of my favorite rules that I’ve put in place for j is that when we’re home alone together (and when he’s home alone anytime) he’s to be naked. Oh, years ago I could talk to all my girlfriends about how I appreciate the female form so much more than the male form, how there’s not so much attractive about them, and while I’ll still admit that I find women absolutely beautiful, I’ve come to discover that men can be beautiful as well.

But then there’s something else as well, a conversation my husband and I have had time and again over the decade we’ve been together. We both suscribe to the idea that the more you love someone, the more attractive they are to you. I’m certainly no supermodel, but I have no doubts that my husband finds me attractive. The same goes for my husband, except that a lot of people find him attractive (he just doesn’t realize it) and the same goes for j.

We’ve talked a little about his physical appearance. He has one or two things he’d like to change about himself, but I’m so used to his body and appreciate it as it is that it wouldn’t matter much if he changed it at all. One of the things that we’ve talked about is how he’s not symmetrical, but how it’s hardly noticeable at this point, just because I see him without clothes so much of the time.

The one really fantastically great thing about boys being naked is that their arousal is so evident. I can lose minutes and hours just watching the different forms that the cock can take, from being relaxed to being erect to when it’s suffering from pain or slowing creeping away after an orgasm. It’s almost like cock lust except for not. I don’t necessarily want to be doing anything to it, I just want to watch it.

The other day he was kneeling in front of me and he pushed himself right into my lap and wrapped his arms around me for a hug. I hugged him back for a second but then went to tickle him. I wrapped my legs around his and held him in place so that he could squirm all he wanted but it wouldn’t really stop me. When I let him go and he moved over to grab something, it was obvious to see that he was aroused. I asked if it was the tickling, trying ever so hard to remember if that had been something he’d had on his like list on the profile that I stared at obsessively the first months that I knew him and he just shook his head. Then I remembered his fascination with bondage and asked if it was that I had been holding him, and he nodded.

Later in the night, after we’d gone to bed, we often lay awake (or not so awake) talking and should the urge hit me to have an orgasm before I drift off completely, I’ll typically find some way to use him, either by having him service me orally or by pulling him on top of me and directing him to rub himself against my clit so I can get off. Pretty much anything that doesn’t take too much effort on my part so that I can orgasm and then drift off right away. He’s really good at just curling up at my side and not demanding a thing of me afterwards, so it works out nicely.

Another option though, if I’m in the mood for it, is to just use him. Typically, because I don’t bother to undress for anything like this since it’s just rubbing our bodies together, I roll him over and then I can rub up against his ass. It’s kind of nice to imagine penetrating him and making him squeal, but we’re not far enough along yet that I could slip something up in there without hurting him beyond what either of us would find pleasurable. Plus, it’s a lot of work for pre-sleep orgasm. So I just rub away until I orgasm, he gets to feel something rubbing against his ass, and we call it a night.

The final alternative is for me to actually pin him and rub against his cock, which I’d say happens the least of all these things. It takes some fantastic positioning and again, work. But the position usually requires his arms above his head so that he’s not touching me and I’m always keen on that. This time, I clipped his wrist restraints to the headboard and clipped his ankles together as well, and then just wrapped myself around him as much as I could before I set out for my orgasm. When I was done, he commented that that was the tightest I’d ever held him. I had to agree.

Ever since then, I’ve put more and more thought into bondage. I don’t like the ropes so much, except to just admire the sight of them on his naked body. I like chains but he doesn’t, but his dislike for them isn’t enough to sway me from doing something I’d really enjoy. I just don’t know that I’d enjoy it that much. What usually comes to mind is saran wrap. I like the idea of just wrapping up his whole body, except his cock and his mouth.

Today I went a little further with it. I toyed with the idea of tape. I like it because hey, it hurts coming off too. I also like that it’ll hurt even more if he hasn’t shaved like he’s supposed to. I like that he could struggle against it even more and probably break less of it. I like the way it looks in my head, especially paired with his leather restraints and collar. I like the idea of tape and saran wrap. I worry ridiculously about the ill side effects of saran wrap trapping moisture between it and his skin and making his skin problem worse. I don’t think it’d be a measurable difference in just one session anyhow.

But what really tripped it from idea to arousing for me was pairing it with a hood.

I’ve read that a lot of people find it easier to do objectification if their slave is wearing a hood because then the humanity issue is gone. They’re an object and not a person so much. For me I think it’d help because I put so much stock in his facial expressions. They might not even accurately portray what he’s feeling but for whatever reason, they seem to trump the energy that I’m feeling from him and the sounds that he’s making. I know a ‘I need to breathe now’ sound from a whimper that he has to let out because he’s enduring something for me and enjoying (and also not enjoying) himself while doing it.

Then there’s also just the fact that hoods are hot. I want to play with one just to see what kind of transformation can be made and if it goes well (I don’t know how it wouldn’t) I’d love to upgrade to a leather hood. I know exactly the one I want for him too because I’ve been lusting after it for years.

Finally, since I seemed to leave off on such a sour note in my last entry, and while I certainly don’t take back anything of what I’ve said so far, it needs to be noted that there are plenty of areas in live where I can absolutely regard him as a slave and not just a submissive.

Amusingly enough, as opposite as it may be, he’s a great deal better at doing life tasks for me than the sexual ones that I’d mentioned previously. I cherish those above anything else, being that a slave’s priority in life is to make my life easier. Today he was able to send out a payment that I could not have possibly done in my schedule to ensure and those sorts of things are by far more important than a lot of other things I’ve talked about.

For right now, I’m rather happy where I am. We have a lot of changes coming up in the next two weeks and a lot of excitement. After things settle again, then it’ll be a great time to put into practice these ideas of higher protocols we both seem to enjoy the idea of.

Until then….

One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

One of our favorite conversation pieces happens to be that it’s always the little things. Little things make the world go ’round. There’s nothing wrong with big and extravagent and that’ll usually be memorable, but the little details in the day is what makes like wonderful. We usually talk about the little things when they’re occuring, like letting him be himself, or the thoughtfulness that occurs between the two of us. There’s a lot of thoughtfulness between the three of us, actually, for one another. It’s really nice.

For me, the little things consist of making sure that I’m always well taken care of. Making sure my water glass is full. Making sure that the door is opened for me. Making sure to write or communicate every day. Smiles. Sweet sentiments. I like when the shows he’s thinking of me. With my husband, I always remember when he’ll stop by work and drop off a candy bar and a Rockstar to help make my day better. The little things like that.

Something that I really enjoy doing with my boy is handfeeding him. It started during puppy play one night. I was telling him to sit and rewarding him with a small bit of cheese for performing the action the way I wanted him to. He expressed an interest in receiving the food that way and so I continued it, though not often, outside of puppy play as well. The other night we went out for dinner, the three of us, and we got mint candies as an after dinner dessert. I opened one up, took a bite, and fed the other half to him. He ate it quickly and followed it up with ‘Yuck’. I laughed. It didn’t escape me that he ate it so eagerly despite knowing what it was and not liking it. In fact, he even offered that I feed him another one if I liked so much that he hated it. I told him I would, except my husband actually likes them, and he was set on devouring the rest of them. So he suggested that I feed him the cordial cherries I got as a gift earlier that day because they were even worse. I contemplated it. I liked the idea that I could feed him things he hated.

Today he brought me back to my house. We were doing the great partner swap. My husband needed to do some shopping for me and it turned out j needed to as well. With their powers combined, they’d be able to knock out everything needed in one fell swoop. When we got here, my husband was making himself some lunch and baking cookies. My husband! My husband was baking cookies! What a wonderful treat. I went ahead into the computer room to look up some more information about puppies, as I’m getting ready to purchase one, and my boy stayed in the kitchen with my husband. Not so much later, he came into my room and knelt down beside me with a plate in his hands. Two freshly baked, warm, delicious peanut butter and cookies so early in the morning? No, I wasn’t dreaming. I was happily eating one of them and he asked me if they were any good. I took the last bite I had and went to feed it to him and he leaned back and said ‘No thank you’.

Typically this wouldn’t be a big deal, I don’t think. Or maybe it wouldn’t have been a big deal if it hadn’t come immediately after a night of feeding him things he didn’t like and having him so eagerly accept it because it came from my fingers. I should have just pushed it at him again. I’m sure he would have taken it. I was so taken aback by his response though, so hurt that he’d leaned away from me, that I couldn’t even look at him. I was angry and upset and he knew immediately that he’d made a poor decision. He tried to apologize but honestly, I didn’t want to hear it right then. I told him to go away. I told him to go back to Matt and get ready to go.

After that, I went to bed. Both of them came in and I was swarmed with concern and affection from my husband. Because I didn’t want to embarass j, I just told him it was because my back hurt and I’d stayed up late the night before and so I needed a nap. He gave me a hug and said if I needed anything to give him a call. j stayed on the other side of the room and apologized quietly before the two of them took off shopping.

Hours later when they returned, we all gathered in the computer room again. j was kneeling on the floor next to me as I was browsing some of the blogs that I usually read. We were enjoying an unhealthy dose of lolcatz when he announced that he’d have to go soon because he was going to visit his mom that night. It’s been agreed upon that he will always have permission to visit his mom and to work, no matter when they might take him away from me. One of my first full weekends at his house he was gone for several hours because his mother wanted him to come over and do some chores for her around the house. No big deal. However, he typically asks. Even if he knows he’s going to get a yes he asks. Tonight, instead of asking, he told me, and that didn’t really fare well with me, especially after the cookie incident. I rationalized I was being sensitive and let him go without a word.

He got home not long after that and that was when I’d finally realized that rational or not, it still bothered me and so it had to be addressed. He had regretted moving away from me and said it was just a lapse. He’ll get used to it. He knows that it doesn’t matter if he likes something or not, if I want him to eat/have it, he’ll eat/have it. Since he has no food allergies, it’s always just a matter of preference. Typically I take that into account and I don’t forcefully shove something I know he absolutely hates, say shrimp, into his mouth. I might leave it near him where he has to smell it, but I’m not going to put it in his mouth. Not unless I’m feeling especially feisty. When I brought up the departure for his mom’s, he explained that since he knew he could go, he didn’t think he should ask, afraid that always asking me for things was going to get on my nerves. I told him if it bothered me, I’d let him know. (Not that I did so well in that department this evening.) I’d rather be asked than told. Always.

Those were our two steps back.

Since I always like to end on a more positive note, our one step forward occured last night. I was exhausted. I pulled a muscle in my back yesterday afternoon and so simply functioning was taking a toll on me throughout the day. He wasn’t tired and was feeling especially cuddly and affectionate. It might have had something to do with the short, improvised face slapping ‘scene’ that we’d had right before going to bed. I’m not sure. Regardless, he was touching me in all the right ways and I couldn’t quite fall asleep anyhow, so I put him down between my legs and let him use his mouth on me, which is usually a good idea anyhow. He’s turned into a regular slut these days — nothing I’m going to complain about. While he was down there, using his mouth and earning himself some soft moans from me, he told me that he had finally realized that he doesn’t have to give me an orgasm to give me pleasure.

I wish confetti could have fallen from the ceiling right then.

For some time, he always gauged his performance on my having an orgasm. That was my fault. He felt he was no good at oral and I loved his skills so much that I orgasmed every single time he gave it to me when we were first getting together. I told him he didn’t have to ask me if he pleased me when I’d orgasmed — orgasm meant I was pleased. There’ve been at least two times that I can think of since then that I’ve had him give me oral without the desire to actually have an orgasm. The first time was because I’d already orgasmed a few times, I think, and I didn’t have the energy to have another one. Last night I was exhausted and in pain and I couldn’t focus enough to orgasm (at first). Eventually he won me over though and I did get to orgasm. I’m just so pleased that he doesn’t equate my pleasure to orgasm anymore, that he’s come to realize that really, honestly, I’m just enjoying the feel of him between my legs, doing what he does best.

A Weekend At Home

But not without my kitten.

My husband and I were planning to do a little work around the house this weekend. This does not involve either of us actually doing the home repairs ourselves though because we’re really not that good at it. Instead, we hire a guy that my husband works with and he comes over to tackle some of the home repair projects that we’ve compiled. We’ve started with all the issues that were listed for the house when we bought it and then added our own projects along the way.

This weekend, I finally got the cold water in the bathroom fixed from the explosion that occured when we let our neighbor try to help pull out the swamp cooler. I haven’t been able to brush my teeth with cold water in about a year, so I was disgustingly happy with that.

Because he would be coming over, and because my husband was getting a television and a couch from co-workers (and wanting to hang out with his friend/co-worker) someone was going to need to be home for the repair guy to be there to fix everything up. I decided that we’d play at my house this weekend, and by ‘play’ I mean we’d pretty much just be there, but we’d be there together and that was all that mattered.

Our repair guy had his list of things to do, but he wasn’t the only one. My boy had a list of chores that my husband and I thought ought to get done over the weekend. He did a fantastic job cleaning up what needed to be cleaned up and then put together a list of things that we needed to get to help improve his job cleaning. Our mop, for example, died at the tail end of his mopping job, so it was time to get a new one. We got some new towels for the bathroom and a few other things that I wanted, such as scented candles to make it more festive around here. Christmas is just around the corner!

Our weekend actually began Friday night. The three of us went out for pizza and then my husband was playing WoW and jhusdhui and I decided to play in the bedroom for a while. Lately I’ve been fascinated with bruising him and I wanted to see my work from earlier in the week. He had some nice yellow’ish marks on the insides of his arms. I wanted to add a few more, and did, and scratched him up a bit as well. I love the way that he squirms and wiggles around when I’m hurting him.

This weekend also marked two weeks from his last orgasm, so I decided that he could have one. Friday night as we were curled up together, I was running the band of his panties over his cock and kissing around his mouth. He reacts so well to such simple touches, and such soft kisses. Kissing on his mouth doesn’t happen quite as often as anything else. I like to kiss around his face, lick over his cheek, even bite lightly. He’s said that kisses near the corner of his mouth are probably more arousing than being kissed on the mouth because it’s more where he ought to be kissed, in his mind. Or perhaps it’s other reasons now. Whatever the actual reasoning, kissing him around the corner of his mouth is what gets him most excited, so when I’m pushing him to the edge of an orgasm, that’s what I like to do.

Edging is quite a bit of fun for me too, because he’s not allowed to orgasm without explicit permission, and he never asks to orgasm. Instead, he tells me that he’s close. He tells me that he’s close with enough time for me to play for a bit longer. The information is necessary, of course, so he doesn’t cum prematurely. When he can hardly bear it anymore, he whispers soft as he can, ‘Please Miss, no more’. I like it mostly because he’s absolutely begging me to stop when we both know what he really wants is to orgasm. ‘Please? I don’t want to break the rules’ is what comes next. He’ll squirm and he pouts a little bit. Sometimes there’s a whimper that follows. ‘I want to be a good boy’ usually works its way in there as well. That’s when I stop. I watch him struggle with it for a moment, watch him roll around, feel him press up against me and then we start all over again.

Friday night though, I nearly pushed him too far. We were close — not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. We had a strong connection flowing between the two of us. I was holding him close and I’d been stroking his cock ever so lightly, teasing, and then I started kissing him. Not just around the corner of his mouth either. I had to stop stroking sooner than I wanted and heard ‘Oh no’ in just the faintest whisper. So I left his cock alone and went to just kissing him, but he was still whimpering. He wriggled and begged me to stop, to even stop kissing him, because he was afraid he was going to orgasm.

By that time, I was so aroused by the idea of him orgasming without any direct stimulation that I had to have my own orgasm. It was intense, very fulfilling, very deep even. I kept him for another day without his orgasm and not long after playing, it was time for bed.

Bedtime at my house means that my husband and I get into bed together and my boy gets on the floor next to my side of the bed. He has a pillow and a blanket and he curls himself up around the teddy bear that we got him a few weeks ago. He looks adorable, absolutely precious when he’s down there. He stays put until morning, until I’m awake, and usually then he’ll ask if he can go to the bathroom and then we start the showering cycle. One bathroom and three people is always really fun.

Saturday nights are usually family dinners, and this week jhusdhui wanted us to try Korean food. He knows that I like meat, and Korean food was literally a plate of meat. It was amazing. My husband liked it best of anything we’ve tried, I think. Dinner conversation usually revolves around WoW, which is always fun. Watching my husband and my boy talking geek is always pretty amusing to me. They both know a lot of the same game references too, so they just throw those back and forth all the time.

After my husband went to bed Saturday night, I tried to re-create Friday night with jhusdhui. I wanted to get him close to orgasm again, taunt him with very light touches and kisses. This time, I never really did take my touch away and it was with my kisses that he came.

Sundays are the days that we end up going to our own homes again. We’ve been working hard on making it less traumatic than it’s been in the past. The game plan for today was to go painting and then to pick up scrapbooking supplies for the angel we got on a tree, our holiday donation.

I gave him the option of either painting Thanksgiving plates for his friends, since that’s who he’s having Thanksgiving with this year, or painting doggy dishes for him, one for his house and one for mine. With averted eyes and the softest of voices, he asked if we could do doggy dishes for him. So that’s what we did! He did an amazing color combination of soft pink and light green. I did funfetti! White with rainbow specks in it. I couldn’t figure out how to get his name on there without it looking stupid, so I got creative and it turned out even better than I thought it would! Pictures for that will be here next week, after we pick our pottery up.

With the introduction of doggy dishes though came the question of whether or not I’d considered having him eat out of one. I had to laugh. Eating out of the dish had come to mind a long, long time ago, one of the first things I’d wanted to see from him. When we went shopping for puppy stuff at PetSmart I’d wanted to get a dish, but they just weren’t right for what I wanted. So hopefully there will be pictures of puppy play around here soon.

Having a weekend at home was really quite nice. It’s wonderful to see how well he fits in and how everyone gets along. It’s nice to know that it blends as well when he’s here for three days as it does when he’s here for three hours. I never had any doubt, but it’s just nice to be right sometimes.