Date

I asked Miss Chris today, ‘What is the difference between the waiting game and patience?’. The answer was not concise, but it never is. Mostly she lets me ramble to her and when I hit it right on, she lets me know. I told her that I’m in a place where I feel like I’m playing the waiting game. Just waiting for him to give word one way or another. Either we’ll be together or we won’t. There’s not a lot of middle ground. Either he chooses me or he doesn’t. Dom or sub. Owned or not. Kinky or vanilla. Forever or whatever. My lesson this year has been to love. Love with my heart wide open, no matter the consequences. Patience. Be patient and allow people the time they need to learn the lessons they need to learn to be right for me. Sometimes it’s so hard though, especially when my heart is already tied up in someone.

The waiting game implied that I was sitting by idly, just waiting for him to give word. I didn’t do it the first time around and I won’t do it this time around either. The conversation has been about experiences. Do I prefer learning or experiencing? I told him I would always value the experiences over learning. Miss Chris told me today that she hoped I wasn’t missing out on any experiences while I was busy waiting. That’s when I decided I wasn’t waiting — I was being patient. I’m giving him the time he needs to sort his stuff out. In the meanwhile though, there was this date.

When I met him there was no intention of flirting. I knew that he was dating someone from our group. Cute, good energy, kind of silly. He’s an older Dom, so we wouldn’t have much in common anyhow, but he was nice to have around. Then he was at a social. Our table at Applebee’s. Puppy play, where I hopped over and asked if maybe he was a puppy and he told me to not get too excited.

Later on I’d ask if he liked to bottom and he told me to not get too excited.

I’d ask if he liked strap-on play and he told me to not get too excited.

We’re ahead of ourselves.

I told him I was happy to see him there and I was. It’s always good to see familiar faces and I like when people can be open-minded about puppy play especially, because I think it’s just about the sweetest thing in the world. I wish I were a puppy. The most puppy I’m going to get is jumping on someone and growling as I tug the strap of their hood in my mouth. But I’ll pet pups all day long. I’ll give them treats. I’ll praise them. I’ll train them. I want to be around them because they are so giving, so affectionate, so silly. The things I like best about my boys, about my subs.

Turns out he seemed pretty happy that Junk and I were happy to see him. We didn’t think much of it. Everyone was happy to see him, we were sure of it.

Then we saw him at a social. We sat down to talk and I discovered his relationship was coming to an end. He had set an arbitrary date for when things would be terminated if she didn’t come to her good senses — the day before Valentine’s Day. I usually do the same thing. Right now, I’m doing the same thing. If things aren’t resolved by some arbitrary date I’ve set in my head, then it wasn’t mean to be. I can let go and not feel like I’ve failed. There may have been some jager in my system. When she showed up, I asked him if things were about to get awkward. I touched his wrist. He looked down at my hand and then to me and said, ‘Now they are’ and I couldn’t help but laugh, which meant I drew attention.

He disappeared for a while. Kissing in the dark. I grabbed Junk and we found ourselves in a similar position.

There were a few letters exchanged. He had said he needed to talk to someone and I gave him my number and we just didn’t stop texting. We didn’t stop swapping stories. We didn’t stop asking questions.

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. I can’t be with the man I love. I’ll have my girl with me. I didn’t want him to be lonely though, especially if his relationship was going to end. So I arranged for the three of us to spend it together. We could geek out. Celebrate not having a traditional Valentine’s Day. I’d already warned Junk that I don’t really celebrate it. I’m awful about doing things because I ‘have to’. He seemed to think it was a stellar idea.

The party on Saturday night was good and bad. I got to talk about Devin with a close friend. There were stories exchanged, some advice given, consolation. I felt okay though. This is out of my control. There’s nothing I can do differently. It’s all on him. So now, I can just sit back and enjoy what comes my way. The anguish that he’s suffering isn’t at my hand. I have no responsibility for it. I’d like to guide him through it, but it’s not something that I’m inflicting, not something I can take away.

Then he was by me. I couldn’t help but to pet him — it’s what I do. We parted ways, wound up together again. We’d chat, he’d watch something, I’d work, and then we’d end up together again. At the end of the night, his head was in my lap and I was stroking his hair as we were all talking about chastity, about power exchange, about energy. I asked him if he liked having his hair pulled and I pulled it. I got a warning.

Someone walked by and glanced at the two of us, an odd couple for sure. I hugged him and asked her if she liked my new pet Dom. I got a warning.

As he relaxed and I was petting him again, I pulled his hair again. Harder. I got a warning.

Instead of a silent warning though, his hand went to my neck. He looked up at me and he told me, ‘When we fuck, furniture will be broken.’

Our egos are on the line. It’s kind of exciting. It’s a beat-down to see who gets to be on top.

The following days, there are emotions involved. His relationship ended. We’re talking about the balance of life, of nature. How much you can give in a relationship. When you have to call it quits. I’m not thinking about my own situation. There’s nothing I can do over there. It’s much easier to focus on someone else’s situation.

I ask him a question I’ve asked Devin before: What makes you feel taken care of?

Unlike Devin, he has no idea.

All of the doors are open with this one. I can’t help but to want to push them open wide and go searching. Every question is answered. There is no resistance. He wants to be known. I like getting to explore, so I keep probing, keep asking. I like his ideas on spirituality. I like his emotions. I like what a geek he is. I like being inside, left to wander about.

‘Tell me about your relationships,’ I tell him, and he invites me out for coffee. It’s going to take a while. The night is cold and Junk is home sleeping and he’s got a coffee, a cigarette, and a pad of paper. We start in on the relationships he’s been in. The timeline looks like how I’d imagined it. I don’t know how he got there. I’m curious. I want to know what decisions he’s made that put him where he is today.

Finally, she’s awake. She joins us and we all sit around chatting. We grab dinner and come back. He and Junk make small chat until he has to get up to use the restroom. I tell her it’s like when we went out with Devin, only without Devin. She seems to be sad. She doesn’t like me talking about how we’re not with Devin anymore. I didn’t even know that she liked him so much. I know she misses him being around because it wears on me. Because I feel like my world isn’t right without my boy and my girl.

It’s too cold to sit outside anymore so we go back to his place. His roommate stares as the three of us walk inside. He stares as he sees us cuddled up on the couch together. He stares as we all sit on the floor together.

There’s some talk, some touching, not a lot at first. Eventually we get playful. I find out he’s ticklish. He’s stronger, faster than I am, but there are two of us. We push him down, pin him down, tickle him until he can’t breathe. We take off his shirt. I pet him, touch his skin, cause goosebumps. Junk sprawls out across the both of us. I have my arm around him and he’s petting her hair. If I were open to being touched, I’m sure he’d touch me too. For now, this is the balance that I like.

Our teasing turns to taunting turns to innuendo. Something about bacon. Something about blow jobs. She remarks that we don’t make very good lesbians and it’s the truth. He has to excuse himself for a moment and I steal kisses from her before he comes back. We wander around, looking at his things, scoping out the kitchen. Only in my nightmares have I considered what a house would look like with three men and no women living in it.

He finally comes back, either talking himself down from the idea of having two girls talking about blowing him or ready to go — he didn’t get a chance to say either way. At quarter past midnight, there’s not a whole lot of time for anything. I tell him that we have to leave. I hug him good-bye and as I do I whisper in his ear that I’m going to kiss him. I’d wanted to for a while. Not days long. Not really. Not even from the beginning of that night. But from the beginning of when we all started cuddling. I’d thought about it a time or two. There have been enough instances in my life where I thought ‘What if’ and I wasn’t about to let this be one of them.

He kissed unlike most people I’ve kissed before. Active. Participatory. Not overpowering. There was no test of ego, of will, of dominance. He wasn’t passive, he answered to me, and I could feel that tug-of-war that could have gone on for much longer. I wished it had started earlier in the evening. I had to look at him, think about it for a moment. He turned to look at Junk and suddenly the best thing in the world was about to happen right in front of me. I watched him lean in and kiss her and she didn’t shy away. He kissed her and for a split second it was the most arousing thing I’d seen in ages. And then she squealed! And then she ran out of the house. I couldn’t stop laughing.

This was an experience I thought I’d never have. It opened up a conversation with Junk this morning that gave us a positive review of poly. I had to thank him for that as well. This was the kind of triangle that I thought would be ideal. Where everyone could love and share and be affectionate. I really enjoyed it. I liked the experiences, the lessons, the sharing.  I liked the time spent, the stories told, the kiss. I like where we might go, what we might explore, what might come of it all. (Like new furniture.)

Double Standard

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been poly. Ever since my teenage days, I’ve always had someone on the side. The second relationship wasn’t necessarily sexual. In fact, more often than not, it wasn’t. There was a second person there for me to go out with and be silly with and every now again someone to kiss. Other than that though, my primary boyfriend (now husband) was plenty enough to satisfy me. All of my basic needs and wants are met in my marriage, and even back then in my first ever real relationship. It’s almost strange to think of how things have morphed over just a few years.

Bedroom kink didn’t always seem to be so important to me. I enjoyed a little bit of wax and some restraint and some control and some tease and denial back way before I knew the names of those particular activities. As I got older and after we moved out of our experimental phase, those things tapered off. My sex life was rather vanilla and I figured that was going to be just fine. I found the internet though and I found roleplaying and I found a world of fantasy that I couldn’t pull myself away from. There I could have all kind of sex, all the different ways I wanted it, and I could have all kinds of different relationships as well. I remember at one point, in my roleplay, I had something like sixteen different submissives serving me, each of them with their own job, each of them doing their own thing for the most part, but all of them linked to me somehow. I remember the stories that came about from all of that. I figured nothing like that ever existed in real life. I had no idea that people could honestly have more than one relationship at a time in a healthy way. I’d only heard of cheating, of affairs, and I knew I could never have anything like that.

Years later, after I got all the fantasy out of my head (or at least most of the fantasy) I discovered the idea of just having one pet. Just one. Someone to take care of and spoil and someone to serve me and someone to explore all those parts of the kinky bedroom stuff that I’d gone on to want while my husband didn’t so much. We grew and changed and ended up liking a lot of the same ideas, theoretically, but we also both ended up being more dominant in the bedroom, which made playing around somewhat more difficult. Not impossible, but more difficult. Then, beyond that, I wanted an actual lifestyle built around Dominance and submission whereas he didn’t. He can’t hardly fathom a lot of what I really get off to. So the first real relationship that I had in addition to my husband was online, and I had intended for it to stay online only. It didn’t. It didn’t last either, but it was definitely a good start. It helped me realize the difference between fantasy and reality.

Of course, even today I still have issues with fantasy and reality. In fantasy, I love the idea of always being strict and always having a particular protocol to follow and doing things a lot of the way I did in my roleplay. Crow, my dearest friend, asked me if that might not actually eliminate the friendship part of the relationship and I’d told her that I didn’t need my boy to be my friend in order to be served by him. But then there are times, like when we’re riding in the car and he turns to me and tells me that I’m his best friend, that I don’t think I could handle not actually having him as a friend as well. So there are things that are fun to think about and things that are fun to do and they’re not always the same things.

But that isn’t any kind of double standard.

The double standard is that in order for me to continue to enjoy the relationship, he can’t have anyone else in his life. Friends, of course, but no one else romantically.

After my relationship ended with my first pet, the next one that I went to (and one that I still have, actually) was a married man. Married to a friend of mine. She knew about my lifestyle and what I liked to do and all of that and she agreed to let him be my pet. It wasn’t anything like what I was used to before though. Instead of teaching him how to serve me in particular, I was teaching him how to be more attention and how to anticipate things better and how to communicate better so that he could be a better husband in general. What I got from it was seeing him do well and seeing him happy in his marriage. In the early stages, I tried to incorporate things that I enjoyed as well, but I found it just didn’t work. He belongs to me, yes, but he belongs to someone else first and foremost, which kept me from trying a lot of things that I would really like to try.

So when I went in search of someone that I could have all to myself, I made sure to put in my list of needs that he would need to understand that he could never have any romantic relationship outside of me. There might be times in our life together where I’d want to put him with someone else, or I might want to have him take a friend of mine out and show her a good time, and there might even come a day where I’d like to see him with someone else sexually, but that it’d all be because I want it and I’ve instructed it. All the while I’m going to have a husband and I’ll have a pup on the side as well. And he was just going to have to be okay with this. More than okay too. He was going to have to like it, on some level, because simply tolerating it wasn’t going to be enough.

Those are some awfully tall orders. I knew that going into it. I never expected to find anyone that could fill the imaginary shoes that I’d created for someone.

The first, the one that’d been mostly online, I couldn’t do that with. I felt like I was taking too much of his life away from him. I absolutely cannot do something like that with my pup, since he’s married and all that jazz. With j though, he’s mine. He can be mine completely. He’s agreed to be mine solely and completely and it’s the best thing ever. It’s so much better than I could have ever imagined. Sometimes, every now and again, I feel a pang of guilt for dominating his life like I have. But I reason it out in that I’m giving him what he wants and needs, I’m caring for him and providing for him what I can, and we’re building a life together where he will never have to worry about being cast aside because I’ve grown tired of having a toy in addition to my husband, or because my husband is suddenly jealous. The three of us get along great and I’m hoping that as the years go by, he’ll be another member of our family, as important as the two of us are together, so that my little family will be three, where we couldn’t imagine being without one another.

It’s a lot to ask for. It’s not too much to hope for. It’s something that I’m working towards, as much as one can work towards something like that. Less and less I feel bad about keeping him to myself, because in keeping him to myself, we’ve created a lovely little space in this world, somewhere private that we can retreat, and I wouldn’t give that up for the world.

Fluid

One of the requirements that I had on my profile when I was listed with CollarMe.com was that anyone that wanted to be mine would have to be fluid, they’d have to be able to move between pet and boy, submissive and servant, friend and slave. They’d have to know when to slip into each of these roles and be comfortable with having so many roles and I acknowledged that it could be difficult to do, but it was necessary.

My family (for the most part) knows about me. They know about my relationships. My friends of the family do not. To them, j is a friend that comes to have dinner with us once a week. They’re all very nice to him and I’m sure to keep my physical affection for him very low when we’re in that particular place, simply because everyone there knows my family. When the three of us are going out together somewhere new though, I can hold hands with either of them, walk alongside either of them, put j behind us or in front of us, and receive kisses from either of them. It might seem weird to anyone else, but to us, we know what’s going on and that’s just how this relationship works for us.

Last night, the three of us went to dinner together usually reserved for couples. Having an odd number of people probably stuck quite a few people as strange, but it was very natural for us. After that, j drove us to our house and he asked if he could stay for just a bit. I took him into the bedroom and curled up around him, snugging him as has become some kind of ritual before he leaves for the evening. My husband came in and joined us, putting me in the middle. Towards the end of that, he put his arm over me and over j as well, and j turned into the cute little wigglebum that I know him to be, where if he had a tail, he’d surely be wagging it.

I didn’t want to end the weekend there though. My boy has reached some new heights emotionally, finally being able to cry in front of me, which seems to have brought us closer together. He’s been very close to me, physically and emotionally, and just absolutely gushy since we first got together Thursday night. Since I still have two days of vacation, I figured I might as well spend them with him, and so decided to go back home with him last night.

Already exhausted from a three hour dinner with my favorite people in the whole wide world and a very cozy hour of snuggling at home, I wasn’t expecting for much to happen when we got to his place. I just wanted to curl up in bed, curl up around him, and doze off.

Except. Except that for some reason I couldn’t keep my hands off him. He needed to make the bed so I could get in it and just about every time he rounded the corner, I was either touching him or pushing him over the foot of the bed, mimicking the very pose I use when I want to fuck him in the ass. It went so far as to push him onto the bed, climb on top of him, and kiss down his neck, knowing it would melt him.

Once in bed, I was far too tired for sex. I was probably too tired for orgasm, or so I thought. I wasn’t too tired to watch him entertain himself though. I had him strip down to his tight orange panties and rainbow socks and then had him climb in next to me and masturbate. Just a few moments later, I invited him to sit up on my lap so I had a better view of his cock, the way he was teasing himself.

For the most part, I was good. I didn’t touch, which allowed him to masturbate for longer. I didn’t talk either, because I know the things I say arouse him. I did let the word ‘slut’ slip and I was afraid he might orgasm so I decided to remain quiet. The only thing I couldn’t stop myself from doing was pushing up against his ass. I could rub my clit against him and I didn’t want to give up the meager stimulation I was getting. I wished I’d put something on before we started playing because he was so dangerously close to orgasm that I couldn’t hardly even touch his cock.

I asked him what kept pushing him so close to the edge when he wasn’t even stroking and he admitted it was the feel of me pushing up against his ass, and he said how badly he wanted to feel my cock inside of him. I told him that probably wouldn’t happen tonight, but he could go fetch my cock for me anyhow.

The Feel-Doe is really not a bad toy at all. I really cannot stand penetration of any kind (because I find it painful) and so it doesn’t get used very often. When I do use it though, I love it. I love the weight of the thick cock resting against my clit when I’m on my back, which is the position I’m most often in when I’m wearing it. If I’m really, really aroused I don’t have any trouble sliding it in and holding it there, but I hadn’t reached that point of arousal physically. I had him wait with his nose against the wall and his wrists crossed at the small of his back as I situated myself, and then I had him climb on top of me again.

He was already so aroused that he didn’t even need to stroke. Instead, he just rubbed his ass against the bulge I’d created in my pants and the lust in his eyes was evident. I was thoroughly enjoying myself as well. Tonight, learning from past mistakes, I told him to put on a condom. About fifteen seconds later, with my permission of course, the two of us were enjoying some fantastic orgasm, his second for the weekend and my fourth for the day.

While it didn’t go as flawlessly as I would have hoped, it went well enough. I need to figure out how to slip that sucker into me without needing five minutes to adjust. I could have used the harness to ensure it didn’t slip out, but it feels so unnatural to me that I didn’t want to bother. As a result, when he first sat on me, he pushed it out a bit because he immediately pushed back against it. Closing my legs tight and having him sit further down on the shaft made that much easier to handle. The best part was that when I was finished, I could just pop the sticky part into his mouth for clean up and roll over for sleep.

Eventually I’m hoping to get to a point where I can just slide my cock into place and engage in anal play the way I want to. Right now, I don’t think he can handle the sheer girth of my cock, but it won’t be much longer before he can. I want to see if I can ever use it without the harness in the way that I want to. I like the idea of me being on top, fucking him like my pretty little girl, my little princess. That’s what I fantasize about. When I fantasize about just fucking his ass as hard as I can, I can use the harness. It works in that fantasy. Right now though, it would seem I’m trying to fulfill some of the gender confusion that we both suffer from, that we suffer from happily. I’m sure this will have a great ending. It’s all about the journey anyhow.

A Weekend At Home

But not without my kitten.

My husband and I were planning to do a little work around the house this weekend. This does not involve either of us actually doing the home repairs ourselves though because we’re really not that good at it. Instead, we hire a guy that my husband works with and he comes over to tackle some of the home repair projects that we’ve compiled. We’ve started with all the issues that were listed for the house when we bought it and then added our own projects along the way.

This weekend, I finally got the cold water in the bathroom fixed from the explosion that occured when we let our neighbor try to help pull out the swamp cooler. I haven’t been able to brush my teeth with cold water in about a year, so I was disgustingly happy with that.

Because he would be coming over, and because my husband was getting a television and a couch from co-workers (and wanting to hang out with his friend/co-worker) someone was going to need to be home for the repair guy to be there to fix everything up. I decided that we’d play at my house this weekend, and by ‘play’ I mean we’d pretty much just be there, but we’d be there together and that was all that mattered.

Our repair guy had his list of things to do, but he wasn’t the only one. My boy had a list of chores that my husband and I thought ought to get done over the weekend. He did a fantastic job cleaning up what needed to be cleaned up and then put together a list of things that we needed to get to help improve his job cleaning. Our mop, for example, died at the tail end of his mopping job, so it was time to get a new one. We got some new towels for the bathroom and a few other things that I wanted, such as scented candles to make it more festive around here. Christmas is just around the corner!

Our weekend actually began Friday night. The three of us went out for pizza and then my husband was playing WoW and jhusdhui and I decided to play in the bedroom for a while. Lately I’ve been fascinated with bruising him and I wanted to see my work from earlier in the week. He had some nice yellow’ish marks on the insides of his arms. I wanted to add a few more, and did, and scratched him up a bit as well. I love the way that he squirms and wiggles around when I’m hurting him.

This weekend also marked two weeks from his last orgasm, so I decided that he could have one. Friday night as we were curled up together, I was running the band of his panties over his cock and kissing around his mouth. He reacts so well to such simple touches, and such soft kisses. Kissing on his mouth doesn’t happen quite as often as anything else. I like to kiss around his face, lick over his cheek, even bite lightly. He’s said that kisses near the corner of his mouth are probably more arousing than being kissed on the mouth because it’s more where he ought to be kissed, in his mind. Or perhaps it’s other reasons now. Whatever the actual reasoning, kissing him around the corner of his mouth is what gets him most excited, so when I’m pushing him to the edge of an orgasm, that’s what I like to do.

Edging is quite a bit of fun for me too, because he’s not allowed to orgasm without explicit permission, and he never asks to orgasm. Instead, he tells me that he’s close. He tells me that he’s close with enough time for me to play for a bit longer. The information is necessary, of course, so he doesn’t cum prematurely. When he can hardly bear it anymore, he whispers soft as he can, ‘Please Miss, no more’. I like it mostly because he’s absolutely begging me to stop when we both know what he really wants is to orgasm. ‘Please? I don’t want to break the rules’ is what comes next. He’ll squirm and he pouts a little bit. Sometimes there’s a whimper that follows. ‘I want to be a good boy’ usually works its way in there as well. That’s when I stop. I watch him struggle with it for a moment, watch him roll around, feel him press up against me and then we start all over again.

Friday night though, I nearly pushed him too far. We were close — not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. We had a strong connection flowing between the two of us. I was holding him close and I’d been stroking his cock ever so lightly, teasing, and then I started kissing him. Not just around the corner of his mouth either. I had to stop stroking sooner than I wanted and heard ‘Oh no’ in just the faintest whisper. So I left his cock alone and went to just kissing him, but he was still whimpering. He wriggled and begged me to stop, to even stop kissing him, because he was afraid he was going to orgasm.

By that time, I was so aroused by the idea of him orgasming without any direct stimulation that I had to have my own orgasm. It was intense, very fulfilling, very deep even. I kept him for another day without his orgasm and not long after playing, it was time for bed.

Bedtime at my house means that my husband and I get into bed together and my boy gets on the floor next to my side of the bed. He has a pillow and a blanket and he curls himself up around the teddy bear that we got him a few weeks ago. He looks adorable, absolutely precious when he’s down there. He stays put until morning, until I’m awake, and usually then he’ll ask if he can go to the bathroom and then we start the showering cycle. One bathroom and three people is always really fun.

Saturday nights are usually family dinners, and this week jhusdhui wanted us to try Korean food. He knows that I like meat, and Korean food was literally a plate of meat. It was amazing. My husband liked it best of anything we’ve tried, I think. Dinner conversation usually revolves around WoW, which is always fun. Watching my husband and my boy talking geek is always pretty amusing to me. They both know a lot of the same game references too, so they just throw those back and forth all the time.

After my husband went to bed Saturday night, I tried to re-create Friday night with jhusdhui. I wanted to get him close to orgasm again, taunt him with very light touches and kisses. This time, I never really did take my touch away and it was with my kisses that he came.

Sundays are the days that we end up going to our own homes again. We’ve been working hard on making it less traumatic than it’s been in the past. The game plan for today was to go painting and then to pick up scrapbooking supplies for the angel we got on a tree, our holiday donation.

I gave him the option of either painting Thanksgiving plates for his friends, since that’s who he’s having Thanksgiving with this year, or painting doggy dishes for him, one for his house and one for mine. With averted eyes and the softest of voices, he asked if we could do doggy dishes for him. So that’s what we did! He did an amazing color combination of soft pink and light green. I did funfetti! White with rainbow specks in it. I couldn’t figure out how to get his name on there without it looking stupid, so I got creative and it turned out even better than I thought it would! Pictures for that will be here next week, after we pick our pottery up.

With the introduction of doggy dishes though came the question of whether or not I’d considered having him eat out of one. I had to laugh. Eating out of the dish had come to mind a long, long time ago, one of the first things I’d wanted to see from him. When we went shopping for puppy stuff at PetSmart I’d wanted to get a dish, but they just weren’t right for what I wanted. So hopefully there will be pictures of puppy play around here soon.

Having a weekend at home was really quite nice. It’s wonderful to see how well he fits in and how everyone gets along. It’s nice to know that it blends as well when he’s here for three days as it does when he’s here for three hours. I never had any doubt, but it’s just nice to be right sometimes.

Another Great Weekend

This weekend provided an event for the whole family to attend. My mom walked sixty miles in three days to help raise money for breast cancer. There were over 2,000 participants and they raised over 5 million dollars. She asked if we would attend the closing ceremonies and of course we agreed. My husband, my kitten, and I were there to hear the speech, to see the survivors that walked, and to congratulate mom for a job well done. Afterwards we went for drinks, as one big happy family. That was the end of our weekend and it really doesn’t get any better than that.

Before that though, there was plenty of fun!

The weekend before, we’d gone shopping and found absolutely wonderful ornaments that we both fell in love with immediately. Better than that, they were 40% off. So this weekend, we headed out to fetch a tree and then to gather up our ornaments, and to put the tree up! The rest of the family would argue that it’s entirely too early to be thinking about Christmas, but we couldn’t pass it up. Besides that, j and I are in agreement that it’s better to get as much out of the Christmas tree as we can.

This is the first time in five years that j’s put up a Christmas tree. I typically decorate a shopping cart at home, somewhere to hide the presents from our sneaky cats. Also, the cats seem to think the tree is there for their enjoyment, so it’s better to avoid that disaster. I got to hang out on the couch and take pictures while j did all the work. It’s my favorite kind of arrangement.

Our Wonderful Colorful Ornaments!

 

He was kind enough to offer to let me help set up the tree and even to decorate it, but after being forced to do it throughout my childhood, with what seemed like millions and millions of ornaments, I passed. Instead, I had a splendid time taking pictures and watching him work. I even managed to get a picture of him reading the instructions and after a playful jab at how wonderful it was to see a boy following instructions, he got me back when I couldn’t figure out how to turn the flash off my camera. He found the button and jested that if I’d taken the time to read the manual, I would have known precisely how to do that. Touche. However. I’d put him in charge of reading it, so that I could just ask the questions that I’d have and not have to fill my head with useless knowledge that’d never be applied. So there. At any rate, I found the flash and got quite a few interesting pictures with it.

I’m not sure what it is about the lighting in his apartment, but whenever I don’t use the flash, all the pictures turn out yellow. If I do, it’s a pure white color like I like. Unfortunately it’s bright enough to wash out just about everything. We quickly figured out that if we use the flash when photographing the tree, the ornaments stand out, and if we turn off the flash, the lights stand out, so that was interesting enough.

Before we even got to the house, I’d seen a sign on a flower shop advertising the flower of the week: stargazer lily. That’s my favorite flower so far, so we made sure to stop and pick one up. It had a habit of swiveling to stare at j as he was driving, so the one that’s open is obviously a girl, and she thinks he’s cute. There’s a bud that kept finding its way into my face, so that one was obviously a boy, who wanted to be closer to me.

This is the flower that loves my boy

 

As exciting as all of that is, we had quite a bit of fun that was more restricted to the bedroom as well. Typically I enjoy a bit of pain to go with my everything else, but because I wasn’t feeling well at all, I found myself wanting him to be close more than anything. His beard is the perfect texture for nuzzling against my neck, so he can be sweet and naughty all at the same time. We’re still playing with chastity, and this weekend marked another one week mark for him. Typically we only go two weeks at a time and then he’s allowed to orgasm, but it’s just because I like to watch him wriggle and squirm and love the sounds he makes when he finally gets his release. Chastity devices are in his future and we’re both looking forward to it.

After a long night’s sleep, I woke up to him snuggling against me, already awake, just waiting to see if I needed anything. Our mornings are always very slow. I like to take my time waking up, and I like to wake up while playing with him. He usually lies pretty still while I rake my nails over his naked skin. I like to make him hard and then tease him until he’s a dripping wet mess. Then I’ll usually get up and shower and dress. Lately though, I only make it as far as brushing my teeth before I come back to him.

Sunday mornings I let him stay in bed, all cozied up, while I shower. Otherwise he’s the first one up so he can get dressed and get breakfast without me having to rush. Instead of getting into the shower, I came back to him and crawled on top of him. I pinned his arms up over his head and kissed down his neck. I like the way that he so visibly melts when I do that, even though I wouldn’t consider it anything special. Pressing down against him, I can feel his cock against my clit. I close my legs tight around his body and then I brush my face against his before I bite lightly against his face, something else that elicits wonderful sounds from him.

From there he’s just my toy. I lick against his mouth. He’s not allowed to initiate kisses so he just remains still for me. I bite against his face and he moans. I dig my nails into his arms and he whimpers a bit. I rub myself against him, and he tries to move with me, so that he can press up against my clit like he knows I like. Eventually his attemps will just fall into a pleasurable rhythm for him. He’ll close his eyes and lose himself in the sensation. I bite against his neck to make sure he hasn’t gone too far.

I could have sex with him, sure, but that’s not what I’m after. I want to use him. I know that he gets some pleasure from it, but that’s not what I’m setting out to do. I enjoy my clit being stimulated more than anything, so I use him for that. His mouth is wonderful, but right now I enjoy being on top. That morning, I wanted him pinned. I wanted to see what he’d look like when we had him restrained. I wanted to see his expressions.

As I become more and more aroused, I lean in so that my warm breath rushes over his ear, something else that stimulates him. I listen to him groan in pleasure and frustration. I let him hear how much I’m enjoying myself and I keep holding his arms up above his head. Eventually I orgasm and I roll off him, back onto my side of the bed. I give him a good smack on the ass and tell him he can go get ready now and while I hear his sounds of frustration, while I hear that little coo of wanting to curl up against me, he gets up right away and does what he’s told.

In fact, he always does what he’s told. He’s a good boy. So when we were getting ready to leave for the closing ceremonies on Sunday afternoon, when he stood up and asked in his quietest voice, “Can I ask you for something?” I had to hear him out. I’d hear him out anyhow. It’s understood that he can ask for things, but he should never expect to get them. “Could I have an itty, bitty little spanking?” was what he asked for and I couldn’t help but laugh. I told him that I didn’t do itty bitty little spankings, but if he wanted to take off his pants and stretch out across my lap, we could see about a regular spanking.

Of course he managed that without hesitation as well.

It was a quick spanking in the grand scheme of things, all of ten minutes or so. I warmed him up with my hand and moved right into using the hairbrush, and then went back to using my hand. I never took his panties off, but I was sure to move them around enough that I could redden his ass without interference. When I was done, I told him how red his ass was and told him to get dressed. He thanked me, like he always does, and then it was time to go.

Middle Of The Week Joy

For a while there, I never offered to have jhusdhui over during the week because I felt it was too far out of his way. I was afraid I’d ask him over and he’d agree to come because he felt obligated and in the end he’d resent me for using his time, his money, his resources and for only getting just a bit of time with me, and time in which we can’t really play. It’s more like ‘family time’ when he’s over here. For the hours before my husband gets home, we really just connect with one another again. I pet him and brush his hair and he makes sure I have a drink and am comfortable and spends his time on the floor rubbing my feet or petting the cats who absolutely adore him.

I sorted out my own feelings about it and then talked to him about it and he disagreed wholeheartedly. Driving out to see me, even if he only gets to see me for an hour or so, is worth it in his book. Because he’s never given me reason to doubt his words before, I didn’t doubt him when he told me this, and so we have a standing date of sorts, once a week, on a week night. We get an hour or two by ourselves in the house, then the three of us go to have dinner (usually where our mom works, so added bonus!) and then j and I will either go see a movie or watch a movie in the living room. Matt doesn’t have quite the same taste as us (Amelie makes him yark) so he’s quite happy to play WoW in the computer room while we’re watching our movie.

Last night he came over and we had about two hours before Matt got home and I decided that because we were both wanting it so bad, we’d just go ahead and play. One of his rules is that he’s supposed to shave every third day, and on any day that he’s going to see me, so he made sure to shave that morning. Undressing always starts with my inspection, to see if his skin is smooth. Then I took him to the bedroom and just curled up behind him for a while. From here, I’ll usually tease him a bit. He breaks out in goosebumps and shivers when I kiss on his neck, and since he usually goes a week or two between orgasms, it can be some good, fun torment.

While I was busy biting him and marking him with my mouth, I remembered about the stingy little toy we’d bought just recently. I’d had one before and accidentally broke it when my pup and his wife were visiting and was never quite over that until I found it on clearance and bought it again! For less! So I pulled that out of the toy box, told him to roll over, and started marking his back. Of course, I didn’t have mind enough to take pictures of that, because inflicting pain is just too arousing to me.

Knowing that he was hard, I wanted to play with him. As soon as I unzipped his smexy work pants (official name of them), I found his pretty pink and white panties! It’s never been made a rule, but he’s taken the initiative to wear panties anytime he’s going to be around me as well. These were from the shopping trip the last weekend or so that we were together and I hadn’t seen them on him yet, except in the fashion show he put on for me, so that was a nice little surprise. What was even better, though, was that his panties were already wet from the very little play that we’d had. Now I realized I needed pictures.

The focus for me when I’d been staring at him had been his hands. There’s something about them that I adore. They look masculine and feminine at the same time to me, is what might be the allure. The corsety-gloves are pretty amazing too, and he pairs them with his leather jacket, so it always makes me smile. In bed though, there was no jacket. I wanted to get a good picture of his gloves/hands/cock as well as a good picture of just his body, so to speak, and I would like to think I succeeded.

After all of that, I realized there was no way I was going to be able to have family time as aroused as I was, so I put my boy to work. Last week he’d shaved his beard down so much I could hardly feel it at all. This week it was back to that wonderful somewhat scratchy feeling that always makes receiving oral such a pleasure. I took my sweet time in getting around to an orgasm as well, savoring the feel of him down there, listening to the sounds of pleasure that he makes when he’s used the way he is, and wore him out entirely by the time I actually had my relief. Then it was time to clean up, get the pictures off the camera, and head out for dinner.

There was quite a bit of conversation at dinner that night. We were tossing around vacation ideas and j thinks I ought to do some kind of picture blog, because he has this crazy idea in his head that I know what I’m doing when it comes to a camera. I got to brag to my health nut fitness obsessed jock mom about how j’s working on doing a 5K after he gets himself in better shape. He’s got himself on a plan and is working towards a goal, which is something that I love to see someone do, no matter what the goal is really. She was psyched and asked if he might be running with her boyfriend. No pressure of course, but it would be the first opportunity to jump in there and run. I expect that February will be too soon, but I really can’t say. I haven’t seen him run (yet).

After dinner there was a trip for ice cream (yay!) and then it was home again. My husband and my pet had been plotting against me and once I came back from washing up, I saw that they were holding a present between them. It was no one’s birthday and you don’t really get presents for no reason around here. Okay, alright, you do, but I don’t so much.

I asked what the holiday was and j said that perhaps the card would shed a little light on it. He’d mentioned his preference for buying absolutely ridiculous cards in one of our first email exchanges, but I hadn’t really understood what he meant until I saw the words ‘On Your Bar Mitzvah’ in gaudy gold letters. I couldn’t help but laugh. He explained that the present was Matt’s idea but the card was his. I imagine my boy did the wrapping too. That’s one of his jobs.

I opened it up and the two of them had decided that my addiction to World of Warcraft wasn’t strong enough already, so they bought me the expansion pack! So the three of us spent a good long while sifting through everything that came in my ginormous package and then both my husband and I were surprised when j gave my husband an expansion pack of his own, because it wouldn’t be right if two of the three had it. Oh no.

We tossed around ideas for vacations, such as day trips, San Diego (zoo!), and Disneyland. I really wanted to go to Disneyland for New Year’s Eve because I think it’d be wonderful but we’re not all on board (yet). I’m hoping to convince Matt because we’ve decided that there’s no way we can celebrate a holiday without the three of us present. In fact, Christmas this year will be at my pet’s apartment with the tree that he and I are decorating (this weekend! :D ) so we can have it together and done the right way. I can’t wait!

Now for the pictures. Eventually I may get around to posting more pictures, but I’m not sure. I don’t like things posed, so much, as I like to just find them, or to just snap pictures as I’m playing, so that limits me (in my opinion). But for now, I was quite happy with the way these turned out, so here they are.

You can see how excited he is if you look close enough ;)

I wanted to be sure to show the beard I love so much