Cuck Connection

The scene always starts out innocently. I want to be near and to connect. I want to play with energy and see if we can pass it back and forth between us. I want to feel turned on and I want to turn him on. Both of us have our desires and they overlap. But when he is in front of me I sometimes have a challenge getting started. While I don’t feel like what we do is debasing or humiliating on its own, it definitely can have roots there and I am never confident enough starting at that level.

I tell him a little bit about the struggle, about how while we play together wonderfully, I am not entirely certain how it fits into the scope of our relationship, whatever that means. I am incapable of holding back my feelings and so he has known how I have felt about him for quite some time now. My love does not prevent me from using someone. Usually loving someone helps enhance wanting to use them. It makes the fantasies more delicious. It helps me to feel a sort of ownership which means that I get to play with my toy however I want to. But that is not the framework of this relationship, or at least is not in my head. So I asked for help bridging the gap for me between what is mine and what isn’t mine; what seems appropriate and inappropriate.

It was a slow journey to arriving and walking into the house without explicit permission. It was a slow journey to getting him inside of the house and coming straight to my bedroom. He waited for explicit permission there as well. Asking him to simply jump in with how he would like to spend our time together seemed like it might be a bit much to ask from him but he exceeded my expectations when he came to my bedroom and kneeled on the floor. This was not an unusual position for him – not out of reverence or protocol or setting a scene – just for the simple fact that the dog is very short and he is very tall. He made it that far on his own before he started asking permission again, which was easily granted.

I watched as he lowered himself and kissed the top of each boot. I’m not always wearing boots in my bedroom but I had also just gotten home, right before he arrived, and hadn’t started undressing or getting comfortable yet and he saw – and took – an opportunity. I enjoy watching, as a voyeur, but I also enjoy getting to pet the back of his head, the back of his shoulders, while he is in that position. I let him kiss each of my boots and then offer to help him up. I am extraordinarily pleased that he did something for himself, and for us, ultimately, something that would reunite us after being apart. 

There was not much time today, not enough time for a full thought-out scene, but that also isn’t the entirety of the relationship. I have had many play partners who would arrive, we would scene, and then they depart and that is a fine model for a relationship. That is not who he is though. He moves slower than that, delves deeper than that, and so sometimes we sit around and talk. Sometimes I press myself against his body and steal all of his warmth. Sometimes we run errands together or attend discussion groups. Sometimes he simply gets naked and I touch him so that I can feel like he is mine. I pour my energy into him and he takes it and I am satisfied watching the way that he smiles and drinks in the touch. Sometimes he is touch starved and doesn’t know how to say it or ask for it and so I invite others to pet him as well, so that he can feel adored and appreciated. 

He invited me to a party that I’d wanted to go to but wasn’t explicitly invited to. I had already made arrangements with two other people to visit our local dungeon that night, to play. I asked if he minded and he did not, so we grouped up together for this party. We socialized and watched some scenes. He exhibited the precise same level of manners and etiquette that I have always seen from him, guiding me across the muddy lot, showing me the best places to step. I was grateful I wore boots this night too. He weaved in and out of my presence, never gone for too long, never intrusive when he returned. He assisted in some scenes by lending his height so we could attach a carabiner for stringing someone up. He enjoyed watching some scenes on his own. I played with my girl and delighted in all that she could take over one of the most unusual and decadent looking spanking benches I’ve ever seen.

By the end of the party, I wanted to play in different ways, ways that I don’t want to play in front of a lot of other people. We wrapped up and said goodbye and I took him home with me. I put him in my bed and undressed him and told him to get comfortable and he did. I invited my pup in and he undressed. We talked about the way things should go and once we were on the same page, I got to watch my cuck do all of the things we’ve talked about doing before, that we’ve explored doing a little, and talked him through how to give a blow job in the way that my pup likes best. The two of them are at odds against one another: my cuck has no gag reflex and can blow my pup in all of the ways that he enjoys the most, just trying to get him off so he can swallow his load while it’s hot and earned; my pup enjoys a great blow job but has almost never cum from receiving oral, even though he’s open to it, and encourages my cuck in all of the right ways to do all of the things that might get him there. It’s a delight to watch and encourage and I love getting to whisper things into my cuck’s ear while he’s going down on another guy.

My pup doesn’t get off but he’s ready to, which makes it my turn to play. I almost always start on my back so that he can see my face as he mounts me. He opens his eyes real wide and lets out the softest gasp as he pushes inside of me. It Always feels like Home to him. Once he is positioned, he reaches out to take my cuck’s hand and lays it across my chest, inviting him in to play as well. We can coordinate well between the three of us. I am playing with my cuck, my toy, enjoying his arousal as we all play together. His hand stays mostly still – we’re in foreign territory to him, of which my pup does not know – he doesn’t know what we do together at all. I tell my pup to be still, to simply be, so that I can use him to get off. I like his weight on top of me so that I can grind against him, and let my cuck watch me do it this time. Then it’s time to roll and pounce for real.

In times past, my cuck had been blindfolded so that he did not have any preconceived notion of how this went down, so that the way that I enjoy to fuck with my pup didn’t discourage him. This time I let him watch and positioned him for my own pleasure as well. It should come as no surprise that my pup prefers doggy style and this time I was able to get my cuck right in front of me. I’d had this fantasy of having him kneel at the end of the bed so that I could be staring into his eyes while I was getting fucked and he had agreed that it sounded hot. Instead, I pressed my mouth against his and so then he got to feel every time my breath changed, and even got to help muffle some of the sound that came from me when things got especially exciting. My pup did a good job of giving us grace and not going as fast or as hard as he could have, so I could keep my mouth against my cuck’s. Then, when he was done, he removed his condom, showed it to my cuck, and handed it to me before he slipped off just to watch.

I told my cuck to get on his back and there was no hesitation. I got on top of him and positioned myself so I could rub against him. I had residual energy I wanted to give him. I held the condom full of cum right above his mouth and I told him I would do it today and he smiled. At this point, I know I can just put my fingers against his mouth and he’ll open up, and he did just that. I turned the condom upside down and poured it into his mouth, then shoved the condom into his mouth. I played with his hard cock for a little while and then he asked if he could masturbate and the voyeur in me can never say no. I slid back just the smallest amount, so he could touch himself, and told him yes – as long as he still worked on cleaning out that condom. 

It was in the days after that, I kept thinking about the way that he had pressed his hand against my chest in that scene and didn’t do much else. My pup couldn’t have known that he’d never touched me like that before. He’s never been around us when we played. But it reminded me about how we all have our different preferences and what one person might like about me might not be what the next likes about me. I also have my preferences – the way I want to express my sexual energy with my pup won’t look the same as how I want to express it with my cuck. So when my cuck sat on my bed with me, to spend time with me, for us to connect, it all finally clicked into place.

I scooted back to the head of the bed, instead of being pressed against him. I like exploring the size dynamic between us, as a lot of people express when they are in FLR relationships – he’s half a foot taller than I am and I like figuring out how I can fit into his body. When I’m standing, my head can rest right against a divot he has in his chest, right beneath his collar bone. He can rest his chin on my head. I can wrap my arms all the way around his body and position my feet between his so that I can feel like we are one. I tell him all the time, be still like a tree and let me climb all around. He’s gentle, all of the time, extremely aware of his limbs and extremely cautious of knocking me over, or pushing me, or doing anything accidental that he’s not trying to do. 

I’ve gotten undressed, into my house clothes, and my bare feet. I rest them in his lap and instinctively he wraps his hands around one of my feet and smiles. This is still new with me, and I have a different set of sensations that I enjoy – the lighter the better, and if it’s good enough, I can orgasm from that alone. He’s always offered to give foot rubs and I just typically decline. He’s good at them though, strong in his hands but gentle, and feedback is important to him. It’s not just about what he wants to do but more about creating an enjoyable experience for both of us. I talk him around what I like and what pressure is good and he accepts and adapts immediately to any feedback he’s given. 

He moves slowly and methodically, repeating everything on my other foot too, for symmetry. He pauses for a moment when we’ve gotten to the part that would be the end, but I smile and tell him to keep going. Keep going to but scoot towards me, because my short legs are only so long, and I want to be comfortable while he plays. He kisses the bottoms of my feet so softly and slowly, and I see this peaceful expression of pleasure cross his face. I settle back so I can watch – I think I’ve mentioned that I’m a voyeur. He asks before he does anything and in his fashion I answer yes before he can finish. I know what he wants and I know where he’s going and I trust him enough that I can say yes to him over and over again. 

I get to watch his face as he presses kisses to the bottoms of my feet, the bottoms of my toes, the tops of my feet. I watch as his eyes close when he gently slips my toes into his mouth. I get to make eye contact with him as his tongue slips between my toes. I get to wiggle my toes against this plush beard that he’s kept for me. I slide the bottoms of my feet against his face slowly, and softly, getting that very light, orgasmic feeling coursing through my body while he continues to slip his tongue in where he can, as he kisses when he can. When we’re done, he rests his head against my feet again and I can feel his breath – I match it, like I always do when I’m creating an energetic bond.

Herein lies the true connection, the true energy exchange – with attention and intention, we can be precisely where we want to be. When I am aching to feel him, it is not about how to connect with him in ways that I “should” – dates or cuddling or touching in traditional ways – it is about figuring out what moves  us, in honoring the dynamic that we are building, so that we can thrive in pleasure that is meaningful to us both.